I'm Luke, currently 17+, studying in Anderson Junior College in Singapore. I was born into a christian family in 1987 and I have 2 younger sisters and an older brother who is currently in the army.
About my life till now, I was brought up in a family that walked closely with God. From a young child, I was brought to church weekly. I attended the children's worship and sang in the children's choir. My church, New Life Bible Presbyterian Church, is one of the few Bible Presbyterian churches around in Singapore. Our church focuses strongly on the Bible, the word of God, and we strictly abide by what the bible says, and not by opinion of man.
As a child, i attended church regularly, hearing a lot of bible stories and reading many books about God and what he did for the Jews. I could recite memory verses and tell people what the 10 commandments were. However, I never really believed or accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. Many years passed and I grew into a teen. I went to a catholic school, Catholic High School. Every morning, we would hear a councilor recite the Morning Prayer:
'Our father in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Do not bring us to the test, but deliver us from evil, Amen. Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blesses is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death, Amen. Glory be to the father, and to the son and to the Holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be. World without end, Amen.'
I used to hear it and listen to it so carefully that I remember it till today. Every time I heard all the Catholics say the prayer together, I felt like there was this warm feeling about having a religion. How nice it would be to have God look down from heaven and take care if me.
In secondary one, I was new to the school and to the environment of a all boys school, I took about 3-6 months before I actually settled in. At first, I was quite an innocent boy who did not know any vulgarity or words with sexual connotations, however, in my class alone, there were quite a few boys who would hurl vulgarities at each other and point the middle finger. At that time, I was still young and silly. I thought it was so fun and 'cool' to scold each other with such 'high-end' words, so I joined in. Within weeks, I was transformed into a monster that went around scolding vulgarities and bullying others. There was no Christ likeness in me. I proclaimed to my friends that I was a Christian, but inside me, there was nothing but emptiness.
In secondary two, I became worse; I even twisted the lyrics of songs to make it sound sexually wrong. I was too obsessed with being the center of attraction than to sit down and ponder what I was doing with my life. How I had been a bad testimony of a Christian. Later in the year, my great-grandmother passed away. I was always very close to my great-grandmother and I loved her a lot. Losing her was like losing a limb, or a piece of me. I was terribly upset. To make matters worse, I was failing all my tests and examinations in school. During that period of time, I was doing artwork for people in class; drawing and painting for my friends because I was slightly better in art that any other subject. Somehow or another, I just couldn't study because I was so stressed out thinking about my great-grandma and my studies. Even my parents put a lot of pressure on me because I was going through a very important examination at the end of the year. I thought of ending my life several times. I climbed up to the top level of my condominium block, and I wanted to jump. I put my leg up on the ledge, and looked down. I wondered how it would feel falling and falling then with a thud, just die as I touch the ground. I really was going to jump when there was this unusually strong gust of wind that blew at me; I tripped on the edge of the ledge and fell backwards, back onto the floor. I sprained my leg so badly that I was in so great pain I forgot about jumping. Another instance was when I drank dish washing liquid and then kept vomiting for several days. Nothing bad happened to me after that and it didn't affect my health significantly. Thank God I'm still alive today, I'm sure I was kept alive for a purpose.
Finally, the secondary two final year exams came. I wasn't very prepared for it and I did quite badly. I was so terrified over my results that I kept on crying. With those results, I was sent to the worst class of my year. Thank God, with my parents help, I managed to appeal to a slightly better class. A Sunday before the posting results were released, I attended church, and some sermon that went on that day touched me. I was so touched by the sermon that I was feeling terribly upset with myself that day. I remember it was then I realized I was a sinner and that what I had been doing all along was not right. That evening, I spoke to my parents and my dad said the sinners' prayer with me.
After that day, things changed. I decided to totally stop being a pervert, stop speaking vulgarities and stop doing things that were bad. Within a week or two, I was a totally different person, although I cried frequently in class for no reason because I was going through a very hard time changing myself. During that period of time, I lost many 'friends', people who always thought of me as quite fun to hang out with because I was just like them, speaking vulgarities and pointing fingers as and when I like. Soon, secondary 2 year was over. It was time to start afresh in a new class, new environment and with a new life.
Secondary 3 was the most challenging phase of my Christian life. I was placed in a class with quite a big number of Catholics. 2 of which, I believe were the strongest and most influential Catholics I had ever met. It was during this year, many small arguments took place. Every time it would be over religion. Being spiritually a baby in my new accepted faith, Christianity, I couldn't really 'win' anyone in a conversation, usually having to back out after one of the strong Catholic guy gave a rebuttal. Also during this year, a few of my friends also converted to Catholicism. If I remember correctly, there were only 5 Christian students in my class. Out of which 2 only went to church once. Still we always would talk about our beliefs and try and convince each other that what the other party is doing is wrong. The year went by slowly. I was more or less drawn towards becoming catholic. I really loved being together with the 2 catholic guys in my class because they had so many friends and everyone liked being with them. I enjoyed their company and most of all, I was slowly thinking of being catholic. One night, as I was lying in bed, thinking carefully of how I should break the news to my parents that I wanted to be catholic, I fell asleep, dreaming… I remember very clearly, I dreamt of statues, lots of them with candles burning in front of them. Statues of the saints, and mary, just like I had seen before at a Catholic church I had went to. Then in an instance, I watched the statues crumbling to the ground. I didn't know what it meant and I never did ask or tell my parents about the dream. In fact this is the first time I am actually sharing it with someone because I had well forgotten about this dream ever since I strengthened my faith in Christ. After that night, I told myself that I would do some research on both religions, Christianity and Catholicism first before I made my judgment for which I would choose will stick with me for life.
For a few months, I searched the web and read all the things that Catholics say Christians are doing wrong, and I also read all the things that Christians think Catholics are doing wrong. After reading and reading, I realized that what I actually believe in is so close to the catholic faith, minus the traditions and customs that were founded by man. I was very much confused still which religion I really wanted, but during Sunday worship, I heard the speaker say that God chooses us and we cannot choose him. It was not up to me to choose what I wanted. 'Our good works are like filthy rags in his sight. By grace are ye saved through faith, not by works, lest any man should boast.' In some way, through my reading I had come across this in some arguments between Christians and Catholics. Catholics strictly do not believe that the bible is the inspired work of God, and because sinners wrote it, it cannot be infallible. On the other hand, the Bible Presbyterian Church goes directly with the bible. Which should I choose? Man or God? I chose to pray. Over a few more weeks of prayer and reading up on both religions, I found that I would never ever believe what the Catholic church teaches and I will neither pray to Mary nor bow down to her. With this, God had chosen me.
Now when I look back, I had not been a good Christian all my 18 years of life. I fight with my parents and I still sin daily, but I have found the power of prayer and the wonder of God working in my life. I am comforted that I have God in my life and I'm sure that if I were to die this instance, I'll be in a better place, somewhere where God has prepared a place for me.
I still think of my catholic friends. I read my bible and continue my study on other religions. I find that nothing at all can contradict what there is in the bible and that there are no errors at all in God's Word. What men create- traditions, customs, and rites, are just contradictory to what the bible says. Not all of them but some of them. I still cry silently whenever I pray for my catholic friends. I love them;The way David loved Jonathan in the bible. I do not know if they are saved or not. Only God knows.
I still share the gospel with many of my friends. I get rejected sometimes, but Thank God, he still shows that he still chooses his people and I am in no position to alter his perfect will.
I consider myself to be a strong believer now and I am thankful that I am able to live the Christian life with Christ likeness in my life. Though evil thoughts still enter my mind, they are milder, and yea, I'm saved Thank God!
This is my testimony of my life and how I became a Christian. Thanks to God for choosing me. I sincerely pray for all unbelievers that one day, you will find peace within yourself and peace with man after you get to know the one and only True God who changed my life. Amen.
God bless you all.
The Lord's unworthy servant
Tuesday, June 28, 2005